You Know You Are in the Middle East When...

Goats'nGarbage from our balcony

(things that seem odd to us Westerners)

• electricity is shut off the moment your prepaid meter expires
• speed bumps are not marked, but don't need to be because they are huge
• phones work, then don't, then do, then don't - I'm talking landlines and the box with the wires is an open panel in the parking lot that anybody can access
• your driveway is a ski hill with an extremely tight left turn at the bottom; failure to negotiate sends you careening into the concrete foundation
• you park anywhere and everywhere and don't care who you close in
• stopping at a red light is optional as is driving WITH the traffic in a roundabout
• your lane and my lane is undefined
• you need landmarks to find your way around, street signs are rare
• street signs, when present, are decorative
• you are in a room full of people and can't understand anything being spoken
• you have centimeters to clear the stone wall on one side and the parked cars on the other; PS. don't forget to collapse your mirrors
• if you hit someone or they hit you, determine first whether the damage is worth risking your life to make an insurance claim, watch what the other person does and then drive away
• new cars only remain dent free for a few days
• buildings, streets and people all look the same to you
• you have to watch where you are walking at all times to prevent injury from the obstacles on the sidewalk
• Goats are herded in the middle of the city through the vacant lot next to your apartment
• you have to look both ways on a one way street
• a one way street does not guarantee such
• motorcyles rule
• there are few rules for driving and they aren't enforced
• fresh chicken at the supermarket comes with head attached
• hand signs are one way to communicate, but are not guaranteed effective
• doors lock via keys turned twice round
• floors are washed with squeegies & rags
• garbage is part of the landscaping and vacant lots are especially well-landscaped
• people say "welcome" before you say "thank you"
• lights change from red to yellow, then to green
• street corners of major intersections have chains blocking pedestrians from jay-walking
• windows have bars, locks and roll down exterior shutters for extra security
• lights in the ceiling hang loose, because there is no way of fixing them to the concrete ceilings
• light fixtures are unnecessary, bare bulbs are all the fashion
• light switches are randomly placed - we play 'name that switch'
• heavy duty equipment operator lives in your apartment block, so does his noisy equipment
• because of different religious worship days, there are no full two day weekends - ie. Muslims off Friday, Jews off Sat, Christians off Sunday - one day off

These are a few observations from this last week........yes, we are back and settling in.